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 ”KEEP GATE CLOSED”

Doesn’t this look ridiculous???  They have a gate in the middle of nowhere and it is even chained and locked shut!  Asking someone to keep the gate closed is ridiculous.  Even more crazy is someone who would stand at the gate and wonder how they would get through to the other side.  We would think they are a few french fries short of a happy meal, a brick short of a load, …

This is what Satan does in our lives.  We are walking along doing just great when he throws up a gate.  Not a fence – a gate.  He even shuts it, puts a sign on it and locks it.  Some of us stand there in disbelief as to why there is an obstacle in their way!? How are we going to keep moving in life!? What am I going to do!?

We are immobilized and stopped dead in our tracks.  And the enemy scampers away in joy knowing that we will stand there and not see that the gate isn’t keeping anything back except for us.  It is so simple to just walk a few feet around it and keep moving.  But sometimes we stay there because walking a few feet away either isn’t in our line of sight or seems just too hard.

Don’t let the enemy throw up a gate to try to stop you.  Be smarter than that! God has already won the battle.  Jesus took the keys to Hell and you have a way around.  Just keep your trust in God and know that there is always a way to keep pursuing and following Christ.

“Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ,….!”  2 Corinthians 2:14

I came across this photo a while back.  I haven’t used it until now.  It is a picture of a couple who lost their cottage in Hurricane Irene 2011.  I found it…well, sad.  Not just sad, but a little disturbing.  I understand the whole thing with “closure” that we as people feel we need, but this was sad and left me with questions.  First is the obvious:  Umm… How did they get there?  I don’t see a boat that took them there, do you?  Have they simply been sitting on the steps of their cottage since it blew away?  I doubt it – so that means they somehow got their by boat, or maybe they swam, but they look too dry to have done that….

Anyways I find it interesting because they had to physically make a decision to go back to where their cottage was and sit on the steps that obviously lead to nothing they can use.   It is pointless.  Sad, but pointless.  They can do nothing to bring back the cottage that was once there.  There is no function in what is left of the past.  It doesn’t even resemble what it once was.

So now for the obvious question:  How many times do we do this in our own past?  Maybe it is a relationship that was from the past that we always try to return too?  How about a lifestyle that isn’t where God wants us to be?  There are hurts that we often revisit for whatever reason… resentments, “feelings”…. whatever it is:  it is the past.  When we turn to God, He erases our history and rewrites it for us!  There is nothing left and even if we TRY to make something out of it there is still nothing left.  It is gone.

I’m making this year, 2012, a year that my past, present and future is changed.  What I HAD I don’t want, what I HAVE I want from God and what I’m going to OBTAIN is in Gods hands.  I am giving it all to Him – not just a little bit or a few things, I’m done trying to make life on my own terms.  I am thinking God is much better at being God then I am.  So, 2012, here’s to having nothing left to go back to! I’ve never wanted “nothing” more!

There is a story in the New Testament (Mark 9:24) where a father of a young child who is dying and later dies cries out to Jesus, “Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief!”   I always loved this story because I feel like that so many days in my walk with God.  Heck.  I feel like that so many MOMENTS in my walk with God!

Well, I’ve believed for something for a while now.  It was hard to believe, but I had a different mindset then I had in the past.  I finally realized that God wants to heal us.  I don’t mean that like we’re all stupid and never thought of that, but seriously, God wants to heal us.

I use to justify things and say “Well, maybe it wasn’t Gods time to heal.”  I’ve had family and friends who I can’t (even to this day) explain why they weren’t healed.  I just know that God is a sovereign God.  But when it comes to praying for others and healing I have always been obedient even though in the back of my mind I have this small unbelief.  “Will He really heal them?”  “I know God heals, but will He heal THIS person that I know?”

Prior to being married to the most wonderful and amazing husband and father to our two girls I was married before.  I married Chris in 1996.  He had gone through cancer prior to us even dating and had just had a bone marrow transplant the year before we dated.  He was still “on his way out” of cancer.

We grew up together and after we started dating we had the “perfect” little life.  We bought a home, had two dogs, 3 cars, good jobs and were on our way to marital bliss when it fell apart on January 1, 1997.

Chris had been sick with a common cold that turned deadly.  He was admitted to Hemet Hospital on January 1, 1997 and died at City of Hope on February 8, 1997.  Five very short months after we married.

I begged God to heal Chris.  I did all the things I thought were suppose to work.  We fasted, we prayed, we got other people praying.  My parents are pastors so the whole church was praying with us and staying up to date on his status.  We had men and women of faith come to the hospital and lay hands on, anoint and pray for him.  But in the end he is currently a very happy citizen of Heaven right now!

I never understood it and don’t fully understand why everything happened the way it did.  It changed me.  It changed my life.  It changed my relationship with Jesus.  It was a long, very, very long walk.  It was a lonely one and one full of questions.  But it changed me.

So, now I’m married to an amazing man.  Besides God my husband is my rock.  I am amazed at his level of faith.  It inspires me to believe more… and annoys me that I don’t believe enough. haha

I’ve taken thyroid medication since 1998.  I’ve had low thyroid and after taking it symptoms went away and I have taken a small yellow pill once a day for 14 years now.  It isn’t a big deal.  I get a blood test once a year and I take a small pill once a day.  They say that once you start thyroid medication you take it for life.  Sort of annoying if you ask me.

December 5, 2011 I decided that I didn’t want to take it anymore.  I didn’t decide out of rebellion.  I made my decision out of a step of faith.  I have prayed for people to be healed, but never really put my faith out there for fear of being let down.  “Will God really do it?”  “What if it doesn’t happen?”

For 30 days I didn’t take my meds.  Several times I thought I had a few side effects.  The leg cramps came back, I was really tired, etc., etc. . . .  I questioned whether or not THIS was the time for God to heal me.  Then my spirit kicked in and reminded me that God is always a healer…. not just on certain days or hours.  Why wouldn’t He want me to be healed?

I fasted this past week.  I called my doctor and asked for a blood test on my thyroid levels.  Thursday, the day I was going in for my blood test, I woke up and thought, “Maybe I didn’t fast enough.  Maybe I’ll get it done next week after I’ve fasted and sought the Lord longer on this.”  Then I realized that if God was going to heal me it wasn’t because of anything I did or could do.  I can’t heal myself.  I’ve got nothing to do with this.  Either it is ALL God or it is me and if it is me then I will have to continue on my meds for the rest of my life.

Sierra (my 4-year-old) went with me to get my blood draw.  She told me she would go so that I would be brave.  She even prayed for me on the way there that I would be brave and she asked if she could sit next to me while I got my blood drawn.  She had no idea that I wasn’t afraid of the needle… I was simply afraid of my unbelief.

“Lord, I believe! Heal my unbelief!”  Just like that father with Jesus.  I SO believe, yet I SO have unbelief!

The nurse called this afternoon.  I didn’t tell her or the doctor that I stopped taking my meds.  I just said I needed the test.  She called to let me know that my test is completely normal.  With tears in my eyes I told Steve that I don’t have to take meds ever again.  I still tear up right now as I think about the fact that despite myself God healed me.

I’m going to keep my bottle of medicine that I didn’t finish and my new test results.  “God.  I believe….”

My pastor told me tonight that “What God is doing IN me is greater than what God is doing FOR me.”  How true that is.  And that is the same for you.  God is changing the INSIDE of you.  God is making you like Him.  If He heals it is not just for the sake of a miracle – it is to change you on the inside.  It is to direct you and point you to Him.

What do you need to believe God for?  What do you  have unbelief about?  Maybe it is time to take a step out and hand it over to God.  You never know…. there is never a wrong time to be healed emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  Try it.  Be like the father in the Bible: “Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief!”